Letters 1_From the Beats to Bhagwan

Hi, Mark,

Thank you for your e-mail of 10/30. Sounds like you had fun in Denmark teaching yoga, and I can tell you are asking some serious questions about yourself and your own life-directions. I suppose if there is a fundamental question it might be, "Who am I? "with a second related question hot on its heels, "How can I wake up?"

Self-exploration and waking up are the most difficult things to do, because they involve change. Most of us want only egoic assurances that we are fine just the way we are, and confirmations of opinions and values we already hold dear. The Masters, of course, don't do that. They will shatter you, sometimes gently, sometimes harshly. Transformation means looking at yourself and your conditionings honestly, truly, deeply, persistently. The journey is arduous, difficult and psychologically dangerous. It is not for everybody.

You mentioned Ram Dass. He's a good guy, warm-hearted, intelligent, insightful. You also mentioned Wayne Dyer. He is an upper, stimulating, positive, energetic, and shares great quotes from wonderful writers past and present, both East and West. You also mentioned Suzuki, a great scholar and intellect, albeit somewhat stilted in his writing. All of these are good people, but after reading them I have found myself needing more.

You mentioned Kerouac, and the musics of Tim Buckley, Jeff Buckley, Fred Neil, Tim Hardin and David Crosby. I, too, have loved Kerouac and other Beat writers, and loved the music too.

I noticed along the way that these good people and certain others on the same wavelength tend to hang out in pain-ridden psychologically neurotic zones. They have enormous compassion for loss, heartbreak, failure, yearning, broken dreams. They are very bright people, but riddled with torment. Their writings and music are beautiful, but it is the beauty of angst, sadness, confusion, frustration, disappointment. There is profound affirmation in their loves and joys and passions, and great insight into some of the most brilliant seers and saints of the ages (e.g. Kerouac/Buddha), but finally they themselves almost inevitably fail to evolve in their consciousness beyond the earliest narcissistic stages of human development. They remain inwardly divided and in conflict. They rarely come to experience wholeness or the nature of celebration.

As for higher-consciousness, bliss consciousness, ego-transcendence, etc., well, how can I say it? Oblivion and bliss look very much alike, but they are polar opposites. Unconsciousness and super-consciousness are both non-rational, but they, too, are polar opposites. Intoxication and celebration are not the same. Dark zone writers, poets and musicians can be incredibly stimulating, but when all is said and done, they cannot help us grow in the ways and directions we are talking about in this letter.

You may have already looked into some of the works by people I suggest you check out. Even if you have, I encourage you to look again. Beginning with the most accessible —

Hermann Hesse: Steppenwolf (excellent insight into inner division, and evolution into synthesis); Siddhartha (Buddha and Hesse's psycho-spiritual evolution from fragmentation into wholeness and self-actualization); Journey to the East (the journey we all take in this mysterious experience called 'life').

Alan Watts — remained a boozer and never quite got to a level of integration himself, but was one of the first Westerners to see deeply into Zen; good writer, great sense of humor; understands psycho-spiritual wholeness even if he didn't get there himself; makes the spiritual journey fun. Especially recommend The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. Also recommend Become What You Are.

Moving deeper and higher —

Osho — also known as Bhagwan Shri Rajneesh — Brilliant, controversial, one of the great mystics of the past 100 years; also a marvelous way to be introduced to other mystics (such as Buddha, Lao Tzu, Gurdjieff, Zen masters, dozens of others Osho discussed in his discourses). Has over 200 books out in English. Good places to start: The Hidden Harmony: Discourses on the Fragments of Heraclitus; Hsin Hsin Ming: The Book of Nothing (Discourses on the faith mind of Sosan); and The Zen Manifesto: Freedom From Oneself.

If you can't locate these (and other Bhagwan books) easily, e-mail Dhanyam at Oshoviha@Oshoviha.org, ask him to send you a catalogue. In fact, you might want to do that anyway, so you can look over the list and order books if you want to. If there's a bookstore near you that carries Osho's books, I suggest you leaf through some of them, check him out, pick one or two that appeal to you. Since there are so many books, and several developmental stages he went through, I might recommend anything he wrote (actually, spoke) between 1974-1980. If you have questions about other books of his you run across, let me know. I'll offer whatever I can.

You mentioned Buddha's Dhammapada. Don't know if you read Thomas Byrom's translation, but it's a goodie (Shambhala Pocket Edition).

Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, Stephen Mitchell's translation (HarperPerennial).

Krishnamurti — He's difficult to read until you come to understand what he means by the terms he uses. Well worth spending time with him. I would recommend Total Freedom, an anthology of selections from some of his works. You might want to start there with him. One of my favorite books is a brief work, a diary of his called Krishnamurti's Journal. I also recommend The Urgency of Change (a book of selected pieces), and The Penguin Krishnamurti Reader. These and other books are available on the Krishnamurti Foundation of America site, http://www.kfa.org If he clicks with you, we can talk more. If not, nothing lost.

There's one guy whom you may wish to read later on. He's a contemporary, a man with a comprehensive scope, a brilliant fellow, presently unsurpassed in his understanding of the full spectrum of consciousness. He has written many books, and I do not suggest you dive into him right away. He is difficult reading, and you may find you can't relate to him, in which case you would only feel frustrated.

If I were to recommend one book of his for you, it might be No Boundary; it is most in accord with our discussion and with the other writers mentioned above (although he now feels he has developed well beyond its tenets). But if you can locate it easily, buy it. You might also want to check out A Brief History of Everything. (For later readings, after you get to know him, I would recommend Sex, Ecology and Spirituality, and Integral Psychology, but not until you first become familiar with some of his other writings). Keep him in mind as you go along. Maybe check out some of his work if you run across him in a bookstore. His name is Ken Wilber.

Happy sailing, Mark!
Keep me posted —
All the very best,
Lee

On Vivekananda

November 2, 2001

Hi, Mark,

Thoroughly enjoyed V's Raja Yoga booklet this morning. Thank you for sending it. I will keep it handy and will undoubtedly refer to it in the future.

I'm a subscriber to the notion that there are no contradictions in nature, only complementaries. Hence, I reject nothing, accept all, and see each object, process and worldview in relation to all others. They tend to find their own place within a spectrum of consciousness that moves from matter up to life/body, into mind, into spirit. Everything finds its place somewhere within that spectrum.

In the mind realm, reason, will, control, power over self and external/internal forces play a great role in developing a sense of personal purity and strength. Control, will, concentration, etc. are good things, marvelous springboards into still higher stages, where transcendence of the self-sense, letting go, welcoming all, spacious receptivity, embracing existence with love and compassion, and celebrating the entire spectrum of body/mind/spirit become the norm. From fusion with nature, to egoic mind and its complexities, to all-embracing no-mind Unity Consciousness: What a great journey! And everybody plays a part in it, yes?

Reject nothing. See clearly, understand, add the new, let the old fall away naturally, without struggle, ascend. At each level there will be initial identification, then, with growth, differentiation, disidentification, then transcendence to the next level. Begin from wherever you are, explore from there, add whatever you need for growth, leave behind whatever has been absorbed, and keep-keep-keepin' on! Don't start with conclusions. They will prevent you from seeking, searching, exploring, experimenting.

Best place to begin? With "I don't know. Let me look into it."Watch, Listen, Know is the title of the book I'm writing now.

Thanks again,
All the best,
Lee

Writers/Books: See For Yourself!

November 5, 2001

In his response to my November 2^nd e-mail, Mark raised questions about Osho. "Re: Osho,"he said, "I can't seem to get to grips with him — wasn't he the guy with 17 rolls royces?? Not want to judge anyone, but my heart just wants to ignore this guy and put him down as a very clever conman. a friend of mine rates him. he said that Osho actually said that he was enlightened — which is a bit of a contradiction in that 'realised beings' would never admit enlightenment — am I just being too cynical? What is your verdict on his cars and life? — also I met some people in India who had friends at Osho ashrams and what they were saying came close to being cultish for me! Okay. Just some thoughts. If you think its worth checking my cynicism and proceeding with Osho then I will bow to your better knowledge and judgement, my friend! Over and out. Speak soon."

Hi, Mark,

Good to see you coping with things!

Let me suggest you forget everything you have heard about any of these guys, and check out the works themselves. Make direct contact. Get involved. See for yourself, yes? Be independent.

Also, take your time. Maybe start with Hesse, move into Watts, look into the works of some of the others when you encounter them by chance in bookstores. Drop opinions, hearsay comments, etc. Approach each one with a clean-slate open mind; see what these different people can do for you.

You mention a book of mine, but you're not clear about which one. Blue Melody, my book about Tim, has little or nothing to do with these people, issues, levels of mind, states of being. Remember, Tim died at only age 28. He never made it out of neurosis, unconsciousness, self-destruction, etc. A wonderful guy, I loved him dearly, but he simply did not manage to find his way into any sort of blisslight before he died. My challenge as a writer is to move back into those zones, which I shared with him, and give a clear picture of who and what we were at that time — and do it without getting snatched back into the syndrome!

Watch, Listen, Know, the novel I'm working on (which may be the one you were referring to?) has everything to do with the things you and I are talking about. It's not finished, and I've not even sounded publishers yet. To be continued. . . [the novel waslater retitled Diamondfire: The American Odysey of a Universal Mystic]

Keep-keep-keepin' on, Mark!
All the Best,
Lee

Music and Change

November 5, 2001

Mark raised a penetrating question regarding some of the popular music we discussed in the November 2 e-mail. He said, "Just thinking out loud, really — you mentioned that bliss and oblivion can be mistaken at times — and the singers I enjoy — the 2 tims and fred — could not move out of the oblivion mindstate — do you think as a listener to these guys, one is able to attain some kind of peace — as sometimes I can just float away ('like honey in the sun'!!) listening to them, and it feels very peaceful — I think that I am not attaching myself to the lyrical content or the angst of the songs — just the melody and the way these guys sing the words — not the meaning of the words but the sound of them — !?? — or do you think I am connecting at an oblivion mindstate. Just a thought."

Hi, Mark,

Interesting questions about your musical experiences. I'm a great supporter of music at every level. Each music comes from the heart/soul of each musician and his/her development, and awakens that same heart/soul level in the receptive listener. For the most part, we listen to those who resonate sympathetically with our own state of consciousness. We seek and find those who reinforce who we already are. I loved Tim and Fred and Mickey Newbury for years. Out of their pain, turmoil, confusion, they created extraordinary beauty, which touched me (and touches you) to the depths.

In no way would I make any kind of condemnatory remark about them or their music or that state of mind and being. I, too, felt borne away on the wings of their music, floating, sailing up and out of myself, in love, ahh, such tenderness, such heart-touching sentiment. It's all good, Mark, all worthwhile, all part of who you are. At every level of our own development there are those musics and writings and other works of art that sing of beauty, love, light, heartbreak, yearning. All the musics are valid, all worthwhile, all representative of whoever and whatever the musicians and the listeners are at the moment. As far as I am concerned, all types and levels of music are sacred. Within those broad generic types and kinds of music, I seek and find those individual artists who speak to me directly, deeply, and personally.

Your own process involves moving from one place to another. As you grow, develop, expand, change, you will find yourself leaving some things, people, musics, ideas and states of mind behind, while embracing new things, people, musics, ideas, states of mind. It takes place slowly, steadily, almost imperceptibly. Enjoy wherever you are. Do it consciously, with awareness, allow yourself to look into the new, whether Hesse, Osho, Watts, Wilber, whomever. Allow changes to take place in their own way in their own time. The Spring will arrive on its own and the grass will grow by itself, as Basho once said. Trust yourself, trust your own growth, trust everything you know and like and love, and move onward and upward from there. No place is a goal, a stopping point. Every place is a tent pitched on a bridge. In the morning, we move along — and it goes on forever!

Best,
Lee

On Right Reading: Life is Perfect!

November 17, 2001

In his next letter, Mark asked about Mickey Newbury. I recommended several albums and suggested he check Mickey out. Mark also said he was making headway with Hesse's Steppenwolf, but found the writing and the story "very dark."

I responded with, "Harry's whole trip is how to heal and integrate the split in himself between body/mind, instinct/intellect, thought/feeling, rage/joy. The question for him is how to move from spiritual ennui (darkness) into light, love and laughter. Very dark initially, but also a brilliant display of modern neurosis. Music plays and important role throughout. Hang in for a while, give it a chance, and enjoy the ride!"

In his next letter Mark said he did not care for Mickey Newbury's music. I responded with, "No problem on this end re: Newbury. My view is simple enough. I suggest this and that in terms of music and writing, and you take a peek, see what touches you. By-pass things that don't work for you; explore things that do. As you move along, the things that work for you will suggest new things, which suggest still newer things. One thing leads to another in your own mind and heart, and you begin expanding higher and deeper, growing and evolving in every dimension."

Mark also said he had given up on Steppenwolf, but had just finished reading Siddhartha. "It is just an incredible read, fantastic stuff. Siddhartha has had a profound effect on my thoughts. . .It got me to thinking, What is the work to do on oneself? It is here already. Is it pointless and futile reading as many books as possible and looking for answers when all the answers are within? Life is perfect, so stop finding faults within! What an incredible book!"

Hi, Mark,

So glad Siddartha is ringing bells with you. A good book can do wonders to open inner doors — "Siddartha has had a profound effect on my thoughts."Way to go!

Did you notice how after he leaves the kingdom, he steeps himself in asceticism? Then he turns the coin, and steeps himself in its flip side by losing himself in sex, love, and money. Then (and only then) does he transcend both denial and indulgence and find wholeness. (In different ways, Steppenwolf is a similar progression). So happy for you that you connected.

You might want to move into Watts after Siddhartha, see how you like him.

You ask a very important question in your letter — "what is the work to do on oneself — is it here already — is it pointless and futile reading as many books as possible looking for answers when all the answers are within?"

There is a notion, prevalent in every age, that reading is an irrelevant "pointless and futile"exercise; that reading is a quest for "knowledge"and knowledge is also irrelevant, even distracting and/or debilitating; that reading is a quest for "answers,"when there "are no answers"; and that one should drop reading, drop knowledge, and simply meditate, pursue yoga or other methodologies, and perhaps become a disciple to a qualified guru. We are all of us subjected to these reservations, and, indeed, there are elements of truth in them, especially if one accepts the underlying assumptions — that reading is a quest for knowledge and answers, that reading is only an egotistical exercise in the acquisition of information.

I look at it somewhat differently. True, you are already full, complete, whole, and all of the "answers"are already within you. However, you/I/we human beings tend to remain unconscious of this fullness of being. The search is not for "answers"outside of ourselves, but for awakening to that which we already are.

Right reading is not simply research into knowledge domains. Right reading is direct experience. It is connecting deeply with the mind-spirit of the person who wrote the book. If that person is awakened (as are all of the people I listed), then you are receiving the highest, best and most profound insights that are humanly available. Right reading, in the sense that I am using the phrase, is not for knowledge. So-called "truth"cannot be transferred the way factual information can. Right reading is for insight, guidelines, suggestions — sparks of light that trigger off corresponding sparks within your own psyche and your own soul. When you read a good book written (or spoken) by an awakened soul, the current goes from the mind-heart of the writer, directly into your own mind-heart. And there, in the center of your being, it does its work. There is a kind of interior atomic explosion. Knowledge is soon forgotten (words, facts, phrases, linguistic articulations), but that alteration of consciousness remains. It is just as direct as contact with a living person, only it happens in the mental-spiritual domain instead of the physical domain.

Reading is not a futile exercise, either. As you allow the writers and their works into your mind and heartspace, the thoughts, feelings, insights and information settle in you like seeds. True, you don't get to hear the sound of the writer's voice; you don't get to look into his or her eyes; you don't get feedback from him or her the way you would if you and the writer were in physical proximity. But you do get to receive and incorporate and internalize the very best that each writer has to offer — it is that internalization that opens doors, and each door leads to another — on and on, further and deeper and higher into yourself. Not into knowledge (the accumulation of information), but into psycho-spiritual expansion. You become deeper. You become more aware. You become more attuned with your own levels of consciousness. You start from wherever you are, and you grow into new levels.

Reading books of depth, written by writer-speakers who are awakened, intelligent, articulate, can be one of the most rewarding, enriching, enlivening activities in which you can possibly participate. You yourself are already an important element. Without you, the book just lies on the shelf. But if you open the book, and bring yourself to the book with intensity, sincerity, concentration, and receptivity, the contents of that book can become a resonate part of your life. But you have to care, and care deeply.

Yes, all the "answers "exist within you already, but you only vaguely sense them, vaguely apprehend their realities, implications, complexities, levels of depth. Right reading is connecting directly with the geniuses of all times and places — they can light fires in your soul. They can help you wake up to who you already are. They cannot do it for you. You have to do the actual awakening yourself. But they can point, suggest, plant seeds, assist you through those scary transitional zones. Yes, life is perfect — but how many of us know how to see this, realize it, and live it? We all have the capacity to realize it — and the reality is already with us — but how do we wake up to it? We are not just one kind or level of consciousness, although it may seem like it. Consciousness develops. It grows from level to level. It evolves from prepersonal stages into personal stages on up into higher, more encompassing stages of transpersonal awareness. We do not have to stay where we are, thinking that this is all there is. We can move on, grow, develop, ascend. That is what right reading is about, do you agree?

Meditation, certain kinds of music, enlightened gurus, a certain kind of nature-connection, right reading, continual searching AND celebration simultaneously — there are dozens of ways and means to help yourself move more deeply into yourself, move higher into ascending planes of self-realization. Knowledge? Sometimes that can help, but knowledge as a path can take you only outward, not inward where the evolutionary development of consciousness takes place. Experience? Yes. And right reading can be one of the most intense, revelatory experiences you can ever have. It's not for everybody, obviously, only for those to whom an open book is a gateway into the best minds and hearts that have ever lived on earth.

You don't "read as many books as possible." That is silly, isn't it? There are too many books. You have to pick and choose. Use your reading time wisely. Seek and find those awakened writers who move you deeply, with whom you resonate sympathetically, and then hang out with them. It is not "knowledge"you are seeking, but direct connection with the best mind-hearts available.

Way to go, Mark.
Keep-keep-keepin' on!

Lee

Remember your own words:
"Life is perfect so stop finding faults within!! What an incredible book! "

Excerpt from Watch, Listen, Know [Later retitled: Diamondfire]

November 17, 2001

Hi, Mark,

Since we were just talking about this subject, I thought I'd pass along an excerpt from Watch, Listen, Know, a novel I'm working on now, as it bears directly on our discussion about reading.

Years before the Internet existed, the main character, Jarrett, meets a middle-aged fellow in the mountains who calls himself "Han-shan"after the ancient Chinese poet of the same name. Han-shan nicknames Jarrett "Shih-te"after the friend of the original Han-shan. Jarrett and the man sit near the waterfall by Han-shan's cabin and sip tea and have a long talk about a number of things, including reading.
Thought you might find their conversation supportive of your own vital interests in reading, exploring, searching. Here it is —

Han-shan sipped his tea and sighed, smiling.

"The great ones of yesteryear insisted that contact with a living master was the only way to grow. They said knowledge from books was useless, even dangerously deceptive — only an enlightened master could transform you from an ignorant egotist into a Self-realized seer. No question about it — knowledge is not enlightenment, and intellectual exercises, while entertaining, are not the same as insight. But there is something to be remembered here."

"What’s that?"

"Those wonderful old guys lived in separate, isolated, local contexts, intermingling with local people and confronting local problems and issues. We live in a globally interconnected context, with instant access to worldwide information through television and the Internet. They had enlightened masters throughout the forests, or sitting in caves, or meditating and chanting and teaching in monasteries. Where are you going to run across a Buddha, Bodhidharma, Socrates, Joshu, Gurdjieff, or Osho today? I mean, hey, it’s wonderful if you have money enough to travel to India or France or Tibet or wherever one of these rare realized ones may live and teach — otherwise, where can you find them?"

"In books?"

"Exactly. Magazines, too. Even the Dalai Lama saw the value in this. He’s an interesting fellow, because he’s rooted in ancient traditional Buddhist teachings, which were realized on local levels, but he is functioning in a contemporary political realm that is global in scale — not easy, right? He sees the vastness of the global context and realizes some of the difficulties of finding qualified teachers — not just charlatans pretending to be enlightened — and therefore respects the value of books, which are obtainable anywhere in the world.

"In one of his interviews, he tells the story about an old Tibetan lama, about to die, who said to his disciple, ‘Now you should no longer rely on a human teacher. You should rely on books to be your teacher.’ The Dalai thought the lama’s idea was a good one, and so do I. Human teachers are difficult to get to know and evaluate well, but insights by geniuses of all eras from all lands are available at the corner bookshop. Living or dead, the greatest teachers in the world are alive and well, right here, right now, between the covers of good books. Why not take advantage of that?"

"Yes, but isn’t what you are saying an exclusive point of view? I mean, you’re talking about geniuses and brilliance and Buddha and Osho and these others — isn’t your perspective narrow and terribly elitist?"

"Hah!"Han-shan laughed. "Have you ever noticed how that term ‘elitist’ is almost always used by business people in a negative way, to justify themselves for peddling mediocrity to the masses? Let’s see if we can use it positively.

"Yes, I am talking about the cream of humanity, its geniuses of science, psychology, art, and spirituality, the forerunners of all human progress, the brilliant men and women who envision new paradigms that enable humanity to evolve to ever-higher stages of consciousness. My views give profound respect to the buddhas of all fields, and, as such, pay homage to the elite, the highest, the most comprehensive, the best and brightest minds of the human race.

"At the same time, my elitism is not exclusive. It is inclusive. As the great Ken Wilber once put it, ‘It is an elitism to which all are invited.’ Nobody is excluded. Anyone who wants to can leap the world’s ties and sit with us among these white clouds, as my buddy Han-shan said. Insight, growth and joy are available to all who allow themselves to receive it."

Han-shan paused, sipped his tea, looked out at the waterfall, smiled warmly. He turned and looked into Shih-te’s eyes —

"All I know is, I’m hanging out with some of the most creative, compassionate people who ever walked the face of this big, sweet, beautiful Earth. Every day they help me stretch, grow, and expand. Every day I breathe the clean, clear air of intelligent minds and all-embracing hearts. Every day, I get more — and thereby have more to give! I’m not talking knowledge. I’m talking compassion, love, feeling, insight, joy. One of the things I give is encouragement to people such as yourself — don’t be embarrassed about reading. Right reading is one of the most effective ways in the world to learn about yourself and others. Reading for entertainment can be fun, but right reading can be the gateway to Self-realization. Good books by good people are a Godsend. . ."

Om Shanti, Mark,

Lee

Are You My Teacher?

On November 19, Mark quoted a famous saying, "When the pupil is ready the teacher will appear,"and then asked, "Are you my teacher, Lee??"

November 26, 2001

Hi, Mark,

How very nice to find your note awaiting upon my return from Santa Fe today. Sonia and I had a good visit with her daughter and husband, enjoying Thanksgiving dinner, and a warm family get-together. Had fabulous drive both ways across the desert.

You ask a great question, and an important one. Am I your teacher?
I wish I had skills, talent, insight, and wisdom enough to share with someone such as yourself, but I cannot flatter myself or mislead you in any way. At the most, I can say all of us are each other's teachers, because we all learn from one another. Beyond that, I would not presume to take responsibility, nor would I in any way encourage you to relinquish your autonomy. All I can do is pass along a few of my own experiences in hopes that they may be of some value to you. But you must be your own teacher, yes? And it seems to me you are doing magnificently well.

At the same time, I am not without value to you, if only because I can point to a few people who might be able to open a few inner doors for you and invite you to step inside — to freedom, awakening, joy.

Some of the good folks I recommended to you might have among them one or two who fit your temperament. Explore all of them if you feel like it; read a few of their books. When one or more ignite the quest-hunger in you, follow their lead without hesitation. Jump into their work, absorb them, let them touch your heart, your soul, your mind. Let them pass their light on to you.
It starts with your own questions, needs, urgencies, your own desire to lift yourself out of the all-too-familiar domain of suffering, dissatisfaction, fear, anxiety and disappointments you have known so well. When you match your own intensity with the intensity and wisdom of those who have known light, love and endless joy in their own being, you will start growing, expanding, becoming fuller and fuller.

The writers I suggested are among those who may be able to touch off your own illumination from within. If not they, then others. The search begins here, now, with your own efforts. I, for one, offer full encouragement and hearty congratulations to you for already beginning to look into some of these wonderful people, and say, "Go for it!"

Things get better and better, Mark. Read, watch, listen. . .

All the Best,
Lee